Tricky or Wierd Queries

I've just had 2 in one day:
'I'm looking for a book, it's a random house publication'
and
' I want a saga, one that will span generations, not fiction, she wont like a history book, the classics are all too old...' This one went on, I had no idea what she wanted.

A nonfiction, nonclassic, nonhistory saga??? Sometimes I'll pop onto LT and use tag mashes to locate books on certain subjects for customers, but this one stumps me.

How can something span generations and not be historical? Unless she meant not dry, textbook history. How about Alex Haley's Roots or its sibling Queen?

"Where are your guides?" For what, you might reasonably ask. "Nothing in particular, just a shelf full of guides."

"I bought CD but it has people singing. I just want music. Will you take the singing off?"

"How do I get downstairs?" The temptation to say, "Jump," is often overwhelming.

Oh, just remembered another one:

"My son got a gift card, but he doesn't read and that's not something I'm going to force on him. Can I turn it in for cash?" He can use it for movies or music. "He doesn't listen to music and doesn't like movies." It's good in the cafe. "There's nothing over there he likes." We carry puzzles and games. "He's not really into that." Is he in a coma?

I had to spend ages the other day explaining to a woman why books weren't all one price. She was quite irate about it.

The ones that just kill me (and these come up a lot) are people who are upset that we categorize the books instead of just putting them in alphabetical order and the ones who think it just nuts to alphabetize by last name instead of first. I never know what to say.

Hahaha! This is the most brilliant thing...

How about, "Where's your non-fiction?" Uh, science? History? Biography? Grr.

I don't know the title or the author or the subject, but it's pink.

Hmmmmmm......

9>

That's one of my favorite questions as well. And of course if you try to ask them to narrow it down, they scowl, say you're a smartass, and walk off disgusted.

And of course the people who come in all chock full o' details... "Yeah, I'm looking for that book... by that guy... the cover is purple... or maybe blue... I think the author was on Oprah... or was it Ellen? You know what I'm talking about?"