Contemporary Romance-Grieving Hero pursues Heroine who looks like hero’s deceased love

I’ve been searching for this book for years and it’s driving me insane. Here is what I know about the book:

I read this some time ago: between 2000-2006
Contemporary Romance
Themes: secret, betrayal, second chance, grieving hero, lookalike/doppelgänger heroine.

Scenes from the book:

A chance meeting with the Hero mistakenly thinking the heroine was his former dead lover on a college campus. He follows her to the campus financial aid office, stands behind her and overhears her financial aid is running out. He decides to help and keep tabs on her over the years. I believe the hero is a former military service member.

Hero’s family (sister, I think) finds out the resemblance of Heroine. Urges Hero to think about his reasons and telling Hero.

Hero’s current fling arrives at his apartment for dinner (to end the fling) and reveals to heroine the real reason for hero’s interest and pursuit of her. Devastated, the Hero gets angry and the Heroine walk into closet and locks herself in while hero pleads for understanding. Heroine leaves the apartment to think over whether he loves her for her or because she looks like his former love.

They decide (Hero and heroine) to meet at a small bridge overlooking water and reintroduce themselves.

Help please!