Favorite Lines

JB's books are filled with lots of great lines. Share your favorites here. =)

If possible please don't put any spoiler-ish lines. Or if you do, then please clearly state it in advance.

Hmmm gonna have to ponder this one. So many to choose from.

Bit of a long one to start with but I think quite funny.

Dead Beat

"Took cover," I provided. "In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's alot more heroic."

"Right," Butters said, flushing. "I took cover."

"It's fun, taking cover," I said. "I take cover all the time."

From Grave Peril

"Wow," Bob commented. "I hadn't realized that they grew hellhounds that big. And look, Harry, it's your godmother! Hi, Lea!"

If Bob had a body, he'd have been jumping up and down and waving his fingers at her. "Don't be so enthusiastic, Bob. If she catches me, I get to join the pack."

Oh man, I just lent out my copy of Summer Knight but the part where Harry comes up with the name "chlorofiend" because he doesn't want to use the term plant monster was pretty hilarious.

From Captain's Fury

"Ah. Well. Some thing have happened while I was lying down, I see."
"Yes," Tavi said. "And you've got that look on your face again."
"I can't help it," Ehren said. "You're about to walk to breakfast, aren't you, regardless of who is in the way?"
"Yes," Tavi said.
Ehren sighed. "Lets hear it."
Tavi told him the plan.
"That's insane," Ehren said.
"It could work."
"You aren't going to have anyone come along to bail you out this time," Ehren pointed out.
Tavi grinned. "Are you with me?"
"The plan is insane," Ehren said. "You are inse." He looked around the inside of the test. "I'll need some pants."

Love Ehren. =)

Tavi spent an eternity in misery, longing for death to bring sweet release from the unrelenting torment. The others gathered at the side of his bunk on the ship, keeping a deathwatch over him.

"I don't see what all the drama is about," Demos said, his quiet voice filled with habitual disinterst. "He's seasick. It will pass."

~Captain's Fury

Tavi spent an eternity in misery, longing for death to bring sweet release from the unrelenting torment. The others gathered at the side of his bunk on the ship, keeping a deathwatch over him.

"I don't see what all the drama is about," Demos said, his quiet voice filled with habitual disinterst. "He's seasick. It will pass."

~Captain's Fury

"Who were those guys?"
"I can't tell you that," I said.
There was an empty second and then Billy's voice turned cautious. "Why? Is it some kind of secret need-to-know wizard thing?"
"No. I just have no freaking clue who it was."

~Dead Beat

I loved this quote.

"Araris is dead" Miles snarled
"He looks fairly lively to me" Tavi said.

~Academs Fury

"Right," Thomas said. "Where are we headed?"
"To where they treat me like royalty," I said.
"We're going to Burger King?"

~Small Favor

My Favorites:

"I went over the facts in my head, and admired how much uglier the situation had just become. Over the years I've learned that ignorance is more than just bliss. It's freaking orgasmic ecstasy".
-Blood Rites

Kumori nodded. "Then let me make you this offer."
"Join or die?" I guessed.
She exhaled softly through her nose. "Hardly. Cowl has a certain amount of respect for you, but he believes you too raw to make some sort of alliance feasible."
"Ah," I said. "Then you'll probably go to the second offer I always get. Go away and you won't kill me."
"Something like that," Kumori said.

"We are not going to die."
Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"
"No. And do you know why?"
Butters shook his head.
"Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die."
He blinked.
"Polka will never die!" I shouted at him. "Say it!"
He swallowed. "Polka will never die?"
"Again!"
"P-p-polka will never die," he stammered.
I shook him a little. "Louder!"
"Polka will never die!" he shrieked.
"We're going to make it!" I shouted.
"Polka will never die!" Butters screamed.
"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Thomas muttered.
-from Dead Beat

"So how come if I'm your friend, you don't tell me important things?" Butters said.
"Like what?" I asked him.
Butters gestured at the kitchen. "Well. That, you know...you're gay."
I blinked at him.
"I mean, don't get me wrong. It's the twenty-first century. You can live your life how you want, and it doesn't make you any less cool."
"Butters-" I began.
"And hey, look at the guy. I mean, I'm not even gay, and I think he looks great. Who could blame you?"
Choking sounds came from the kitchen.
"Oh, shut up!" I snarled at Thomas.
He kept on making choking sounds that bubbled with laughter.
"You should have just said something," Butters said. "Don't feel like you have to hide anything, Harry. I won't judge. I owe you too much for that."
"I'm not gay," I stated.
Butters nodded at me, compassion and empathy all over his face. "Oh. Okay, sure."
"I'm not!"
Butters raised his hands. "It wasn't my place to intrude," he said. "Later, some other time, maybe. None of my business."
"Oh, for crying out loud," I muttered.
Thomas came out bearing plates of steaming, reheated pizza, some roast beef sandwiches, and crackers with slices of cheese partly melted on them. He put them down and came back with bottles of cold beer and cups of hot tea. He poured my tea for me, then leaned over and gave me a chaste kiss on the hair. "There you go."
Butters pretended not to notice.
I punched Thomas awkwardly in the ribs. "Give me the damned pizza before I kill you."
Thomas sighed and confided to Butters, "He gets like this sometimes." -also from Dead Beat

"The door is ajar," the dashboard said.
"It won't shut up," I explained to him.
"It gets sort of Zen after awhile," Butters said brightly. "Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is a jar." -from Dead Beat

"Uh-huh. And what about the hood?"
"Little holes are from Marcone's thug. Big dent was a chlorofiend," I said.
"A what?"
"Plant monster."
"Oh. Why don't you just say 'plant monster'?"
"I have my pride."
-from Death Masks

"Mister Dresden," he said. "And Miss Rodriguez, I believe. I didn't realize you were an art collector."
"I am the foremost collector of velvet Elvii in the city of Chicago," I said at once.
"Elvii?" Marcone inquired.
"The plural could be Elvises, I guess," I said. "But if I say that too often, I start muttering to myself and calling things 'my precious,' so I usually go with the Latin plural."
-also Death Masks

Mickey Mouse woke me up, my alarm jangling noisily, his little hand on two and the big hand on twelve. I wanted to smack the clock for waking me up, but I reined in the impulse. I'm not against a little creative violence now and then, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I wouldn't sleep in the same room with a person who would smack Mickey Mouse. - Death Masks

"You have a good heart, Harry Dresden," Michael said, a fierce grin stretching his mouth. "God will smile on this choice."
"Yeah. Tell Him I said hello, and ask Him not to Sodom and Gomorrah my apartment, and we'll be even." -Grave Peril

"So we get a plan," I said. "Any suggestions?"
"Blow up the building," Kincaid said without looking up. "That works good for vampires. Then soak what's left in gasoline. Set it on fire. Then blow it all up again."
"For future reference, I was sort of hoping for a suggestion that didn't sound like it came from that Bolshevik Muppet with all the dynamite." Blood Rites

You guys those quotes are awesome. I was crackling away like a hysterical hyena on speed. I will have to pull my socks up and do more for the quoting cause.

I'm just about finished with Death masks and on top of the ones in #13 this one also cracked me up:

"How does he manage to make this place so nice, run his own business, and fight demons on the side?"
"He probably watches a lot of those home-and-garden shows," I said.
She frowned. "The grass is green. It's February and the grass is green. Doesn't that strike you as strange?"
"Sod works in mysterious ways."

"Bored is good" Fantus said "I like bored"

Cursor's Fury

Silence and focus ruled.
I was ready.
And then the f*&King phone rang about a foot from my ear.

Mouse has better people skills then me.

"It's only paranoia if I'm wrong" ~ Harry Dresden.

Proven Guilty

" . . . just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face." - Harry Dresden, Storm Front

The Knights Pisces line from Cursors fury made me laugh, and several others

I think those might be some of the best lines in the entire series!! Thank you for posting them, you gave me a much needed laugh!
Jennie

Max shook his head. "There's something broken inside your skull, Calderon. You do all your thinking sideways."

Princeps Fury, p. 10

Princeps' Fury p.356

Gram says, "Move to the Vale, Gaius says. Retire in wealth and comfort he says."

Varg looked at Tavi, then at the makers. “Tavar, I sometimes think you are insane.”
“Are you coming with me?”
Varg glanced at him, and Tavi swore he could see something offended in the big Cane’s body language. “Of course.”
Tavi showed him his teeth again. “Glad I’m not the only one.”

Princeps Fury, p.319

Tavi flashed the stunned-looking man a quick grin and hauled him to his feet. “No lying down on the job, soldier.”

Princeps Fury

Harry's a wizard. A genuine, honest-to-goodness wizard. He's Gandalf on crack and an IV of Red Bull...

Backup, pg 7

Here are some quotes from Turn Coat, in no particular order, and of course no spoilers....

"I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland."

Dresden to Butters: "If it helps think of it as a preventative autopsy."

"Oh bite me, wizard boy," Butters said, his tone annoyed. "You haven't got a moral leg to stand on. If its okay that I'm not a doctor, then its okay that you aren't a nurse."

"If a revolver was good enough for Indiana Jones," I said, "it's good enough for me."
"He was a fictional character, harry." Her mouth curved up in a smile. "And he had a whip."
I eyed her.
Her eyes sparkled. "Do you have a whip, Dresden?"

Toot's body practically convulsed in a spasm of excitement. Had a giant yellow exclamation point suddenly appeared in the air over his head, I would not have been surprised.

The first line of Blood Rites

"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."