NOTICE:

This forum has been opened, not for the purpose of fostering discussion, but rather to ensure the continuance of our sanctum by having a mechanism by which we may keep the club from dormant status. That mechanism is what is called, in common parlance, a 'bump.'

-- BUMP! --

Please kindly refrain from bothering one another.

Harrumph.

Shhhh!!

Harrrummph . . . .

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/43207/43207-h/images/i_032.jpg

(settles into a chair --opens a book)

...

Zzzzzzzz

*turns another page*

Good God!! A woman!!

Shhhhhhh.

phrumph...he is STILL snoring.

Pure piffle.

hush.

shhhh

*delicate sigh*

I do wish you people would stop making so much noise! You are actually members, are you?

I had to look. I am.

Robert

*glares at people complaining about noise*

*head nods gracefully in sweet slumber*

...

 

*rouses, refills the lantern, settles in with a delicate volume of verse*

Memo to MerryMary - You do not need to refill the lantern yourself, there are club servants for that sort of thing.

Memo to abbotthomas - Please would you use softer paper. The rustling noise is disturbing.

::sniff::

::sniff::

????

*sighs contentedly*

Huh? What? ...

Eyelids drooping as
newspaper floats to the floor;
slips into slumber.

*stifles peace-disturbing yawn*

. . .



Who is making all that racket? I swear I just heard a pin drop!

Hold it down, please! Harumph...

sneezes . . . looks around apologetically

*raises eyebrow skeptically*

>40 grunin: shhhhhh

Quiet glare at you noisy people...

aarGl

The number one rule is that there is no talking, to the point where club members can be excluded for coughing.

*carefully closes one book, silently takes up another*

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Shhhhhhh! Don't shout in here, please.

Sorry, don't know what came over me.

A journal opens softly, for the new year...pen across paper. Dust motes whisper over books.

Shhhh!!......

*turns the page*

No snoring please.

Nor noisy breathing...!

I crept in. I started thinking but not out loud. I then exited but not noisily like a Brexit.

A cricket chirping,
falls silent, then chirps once more.
Quiet reigns again.

(Silently thinking... "I sure wish someone would throw that noisy cricket out...")

harrumph

Lifts hand silently for a brandy...

*intercepts the brandy*

*Mysteriously slumps forward in chair, the brandy balloon falling from her nerveless grasp*

...

(–˛ — º)

*shivers*

...

Thinks... Probably dead.

Pets the cat and continues reading without so much as a glance.

Wish that cat would stop purring so loudly...

...

*Twitches nostrils at a most unpleasant odour in the room...*

From p.83 of the Club Rule Book: Gentlemen members should refrain from urinating in the umbrella stands during the asparagus season.

*Refrains from urinating in the umbrella stands.*

(Notices that the gentleman in that chair over there hasn't moved in a few days...)

>77 kiparsky: *averts gaze anyway*

Notices 'I haven't moved in a few days either'. Continues reading

*watches dust settle on a banister*

(grumble)....Boy that's some noisy dust...

...

Zzzzzz...

Ahh...*he said to himself*...

*glares at >85 arthurfrayn:*

'.'

*Raises imperious finger to summon waiter; indicates odiferous corpse in nearby armchair; conveys displeasure*

"Hmmmmm..., at least he was quiet", he thinks.

Wishes >89 jhicks62: would think a bit more quietly

...Looks askance at stranger who is wishing too loudly...

The upper case letters used to name this topic are far, far too loud.

FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU PEOPLE, SETTLE DOWN!!!

Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's Covid stress. *Offers immediate resignation*.

Meditates to regain concentration before returning to her book

Still trying to get heart restarted...

Only if you're quiet about it.

◕_◕

📖🤔

(...looking around to see if anyone else is still breathing in here...)

ヽ༼⊙_⊙༽ﾉ

"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"?

*continues reading with fierce and silent determination in the face of all this racket*

... I may already have won ...

>107 tungsten_peerts: If you have, please keep quiet about it!

creaking leather, softest footfall.

〤◕‿◕〤

>110 SandraArdnas: **shades eyes**

zzzzzz

It was so nice and quiet in here before you started snoring...

**thinking the same thing**

>114 2wonderY: Please remove at least one asterisk from either side of your message. You're thinking too loudly.

>115 Marissa_Doyle: *hangdog look*

Please, all this commotion. I spoke to you just a minute ago, in 2015.

...Well, now I've completely lost my train of thought...

>119 kiparsky: Good thing too, it was making a terrible racket.

>119 kiparsky: You may talk to yourself, but voicelessly only.

aaa

aaaah

AAA

!!!!TCHOO!!!!

*dies of embarrassment*

>121 LolaWalser: (Whispering) Bye-bye, Lola. It was nice knowing you.

(Whispering) Psst, I thought I saw the cobwebs over Lola's nose flutter a little. Is she still breathing?

So long as they flutter quietly.

Deucedly noisy things, cobwebs.

* Looks up, notices the human approaching*

thinks: is it the librarian? are my materials overdue?

* runs a diagnostic *
* opaques visor *

* noisy spider running across the floor... *

* squiff squiff *

(a little pine-scented air spray to give the illusion of life to the ancient evergreen tree dimly lit up in the far corner, with a few droopy garlands and ornaments still clinging to it)

Happy you-know-what.

>127 Meredy: That's not an ancient evergreen--it's Higginbotham. The needles falling off the tree made such a racket that we had the staff remove it on the 26th.

Heh. Poor old Higginbotham. Haven't thought of him in years, after he came in here on that New Year's Eve back in '73 intent on jollification. Taxidermy's a wonderful thing.

rain
drops
crash
and trickle
shhhhhhhhh.........

Clears throat...harrumph.
Brandy decanter clinks against glass.
Taps pipe against ash tray.

Logs crackle inside of fireplace.

Shh, amanda4242, I can hear you blinking again.

Featherston, the butler, enters on whispery feet, sweeping up cigar ash with a possum-fur brush.

...