Quote. Secret Cinematic Speakers. Unquote.

Rules are simple. Quotes from movies (or really quotable TV shows can work in a pinch):

~I gotta work on my game.

Next person uses another quote to continue:

~ Uh, let's see... I'm nine feet tall, I weigh six hundred and forty three pounds, got a bit of a temper on me. My passion level's very near the surface, I guess, not gonna lie. Anyhoo, what else, uh... I'm a wrecker. I wreck things, professionally. I mean, I'm very good at what I do.

And so on.

~Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much! That is why I show you my work! That is why you are here!

~Bother. Isn't there anybody here at all?

I don't pick up any life readings.

That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel.

Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat.

Are you doing magic? Lets see it then.

Higitus figitus migitus mum! Prestigitonium!

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

~What makes you think she's a witch?

~Well...she turned me into a newt!

Harry, yer a wizard!

We're off to see the wizard!

the wizard will explain it!

Back off, man, I'm a scientist.

~ For your information, I am a lawyer.
~ KILL THE LAWYER!
~ I'm not that kind of lawyer!

Please! Remain in your seats, I beg you! We are not children here, we are scientists! I assure you there is nothing to fear!

I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!

Don't go that way! Never go that way!
If she would have gone that way, she would have gone right to the castle.

Are you the one moving this castle?

When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up.

Things have certainly changed around here. I remember when this was all farmland as far the eye could see. Old man Peabody owned all of this. He had this crazy idea about breeding pine trees.

All this will be yours someday, Simba

"Do you know that all that land belongs to me?"
"Does it? How much it is to belong to one person, and how beautiful!"
"Do you know that some day it will all belong to you—that and a great deal more?"
"To me! When?"
"When I am dead."
"Then I don't want it. I want you to live always."

Do you mean to tell me, Katie Scarlett O'Hara, that Tara, that land doesn't mean anything to you? Why, land is the only thing in the world worth workin' for, worth fightin' for, worth dyin' for, because it's the only thing that lasts.

~Now, call me foolish, call me irresponsible, but it occurs to me that a 500 megaton bomb planted at just the proper point would, uh...

~...Would destroy most of California. Millions of innocent people would be killed. The west coast as we know it would...

~...Fall into the sea.

I take it the odds are against us, and the situation is grim...Sounds like fun!

"What a waste of fine infantry!"

In chess, the pawns go first.

(observing the dilemma a new girl friend's last move has created for him):
"Let's play something else!"

You want to explain the math of this to me? I mean, where's the sense in risking the lives of the eight of us to save one guy?

We are surrounded by the (Spanish) enemy. Our position is hopeless. You will all, please, do me the favor of giving your lives.

Why don't you just die!

Never give up; never surrender!

"You can't FIGHT in here: This is the WAR Room!"

if either of you says war,just one more time, I'll go into the house and shut the door!

Think about it. They defeated the greatest power in the world in a couple days. Walked right over us. And these were only the first. They'll keep coming. This is not a war any more than there's a war between men and maggots... This is an extermination.

Stand down, sister. I personally guarantee that there won't be a living thing at this party. The Verminator is on the job.

We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here.

I'll handle this. Scar, there's no food, no water...

Without water, how can we survive?

Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

(gotta do this...)

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

Don't you blaspheme in here!

I'll have some toasted white bread please.

Would you like a little more tea?

Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.

please sir, can
i have some more?

I don't drink coffee!

I don't drink anymore... I don't drink any less, either!

yeh couldn't make us a cuppa tea could ya, its not been an easy journey

If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home...

There's no business like show business!

- - "You do it my way! This (ballet) is business!

-- "Not any more, it isnʻt."

You know, only this morning she came up to me and she said, "Sevilla, deary, you're the greatest prima ballerina in the whole world."

My public needs me!

"If Mr. Van Buren runs for president, of course MY farmers will vote for him."
(emphasis added)

Georgia seems to be split right down the middle on this issue. The people are against it, and I'm for it.

You don't know the power of the Dark Side.

"Thereʻs real evil out there; you gotta believe it!"

Do be careful! Don't lose any of that stuff. That's concentrated evil. One drop of that could turn you all into hermit crabs.

--While you were developing The Satan Bug, you were also working on an antidote for it, werenʻt you?
-- Yes.
-- Did you develop one?
-- No, because we concentrated on the Satan Bug itself.
- - (thoughtfully) Well . . . . . Institute a crash program!

(Raucous, unintended, laughter from the audience)

I tell you ever since he got that Master Control Program, the system's got more bugs than a bait store.

"I am not programmed to answer in that area."

It's quiet. Too quiet.

Oh, please speak up Rapunzel. You know how I hate the mumbling.

It's rude. One might question your upbringing.

Hush, please. That is enough, Margaret. If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say, you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.

Have I said anything I oughtn't?

Oh, that's all right. He can call me a flower if he wants to; I don't mind.

Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, expelled.

(I have to follow with this line. I love it!)

She needs to get her priorities straight!

I would not have thought it: there IS something better than a play!

Snakes.
Why did it have to be snakes?

Well, my stupid, sorry, parasitic sacks of entrails: revenge is mine!

Kiss me, stupid!
Title and closing line of
a very forgettable 1960s
comedy, which starred
Dean Martin
and Kim Novak.

How could I have been so Stupid!

Either you're out of your mind, or you're crazy. You must be crazy!

"Mad CALL I it, for - - to DEFINE true madness - -
What is it, but to be nothing else but mad!?"

Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. You may have noticed that I'm not "all there" myself!

"They say youʻre a kook - - ARE ya, Kelly?

"I don't know. It's a mystery."

curiouser and curiouser

And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling ...

......and your little dog too!

"Psychoanalyze him? --No, I believe heʻs just a very normal little dog."

Why can't I have a normal dog like everyone else?

My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!

Singing (more or less):
"Thank God Iʻm NORmal, NORmal, NORmal!
Thank God Iʻm normal, Iʻm
Just like everyone else!"

~Abby Normal?

~I'm almost sure that was the name.

Seaman: (in a bar) Excuse me could I ask your name?

Captain: (exasperatedly)
CHINnaw!

Seaman: Oh! So youʻre the famous "Capʻn China". Then, can you tell me why I have to know trigonometry (?!) to be a good seaman?

Captain: (Silence)

Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

"Aye, his mouth is stopped: honest Iago hath taʻen counsel for it."

Save your breath, Iago. Faster!

save me! save me! hurt them! hurt them!

~Don't worry, I've got you!

~You've got me? Who's got you?

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!

If that don't beat all. I never saw such a dog.

Marty, DON'T go out with "dogs". You'll get a "reputation".

It's like I said all along, poopsie: cats rule and dogs drool.

Close your mouth, please, Michael. We are not a codfish.

You're a clown fish right? SAy something funny!

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

For a gallon of elderberry wine, I take one teaspoon full of arsenic, then add half a teaspoon full of strychnine, and then just a pinch of cyanide.

you're sick, You know that? Sick!

Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She's a little crazy.
She said she knew the Sultan!
She thinks the monkey is the sultan.

You know the saying, "Human see, human do."

Humans... They are not the cowering wretches we were promised.

I was promised sex. Everybody said it. You'll be a bridesmaid, you'll get sex, you'll be fighting 'em off. But not so much as a tongue in sight.

"What's 'pourquoi' (mean) - - 'do' or
'not do'? Would that I had spent (more)
time on the tongues. ... ...!"

O God, sir, here's a dish I love not. I cannot endure my lady Tongue.

Did you blow up the food?

I didn't mean to blow her up, I just... lost control.

Dee-na-mee-tay. Must be Italian.

Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.

- -C'mon, ya either talk this lingo or ya don't! Which is it?

-- I talk Italian, but they're not speakin' the same dialect
my people spoke.

-- Never mind the 'dialect'. Just ask them which way the Krauts went!.

Nazis. I hate these guys.

Ain't that a kick in the head. I guess a curse isn't what it used to be.

(holding up a recently-prepared potion
and apostrophizing his absent colleagues):
"Gentlemen! Be damned to you!

Frankly, my dear . . .

All right, let's settle down! If we're going to get through this we're going to need self control.

I'm not shouting! All right, I am! I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shouting!

It's Wabbit season, and I'm hunting wabbits, so be vewy, vewy quiet!

. . . not a typical
American . . .he's a QUIET American!

can we panic now?

I spent the last 12 years of my life building rooms like this specifically to keep out people like us.

12 years! In Azkaban!

Damn! We're in a tight spot!

Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!

Nobody's gonna mess with Stella unless Stella wants to be messed.

No one puts baby in a corner!

"Mr. Thorne once cornered CORN,
And that ain't HAY!"
But I'm always true to you,
Darling, in my fashion;
I'm always true to you,
Darling, in my way!"

If you need me, just whistle. You know how to whistle don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.

Are you really giving us permission to do this?

Yes, Longbottom.

Blow it up? Boom?

BOOM!

"See, we found out that the Enemy wants to blow the bridge up, too. So if we blow it up we'll be doing what the Enemy wants, and if we don't blow it up, we'll be failing to do what we want! So, what can we do?"

"Blow it up, Major! It's nothing!"

Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!

Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?

Oh boys, what have you done?

Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?

When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting, whatever it is you've got left.

Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.

You can't mess with the program, Ralph!

Ralphie, you're lucky it didn't cut your eye! Those icicles have been known to kill people.

~So Mrs. C, how's you're hubby?

~Not too good, Snowy, he has a bad cold.

~Aw, that's a shame. He should've come to me, I'd've given him a good one! Hahaha! A little chilly humor, there!

- - "Wanda, you're looking at a man with a cold!"

- - (Pouring him a straight
(officially illegal)* whiskey):
"For 'a cold' THIS is good!"

*ca. 1932

Say listen, is he working on a case?

Yes, he is.

What case?

A case of scotch. Pitch in and help him.

Why is all the rum gone?

~Sorry. We only serve coffee.

~Coffee?

~Scotch coffee, Canadian coffee, sour mash coffee...

"We still GOT coffee, but it's all cold."

"That's ok: it's a HOT night."

You know what I feel like? I feel all the time like a cat on a hot tin roof.

He's all right! Aren't you, cat? Poor cat! Poor slob! Poor slob without a name!

Through the years I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato, The Furry Lover, Chupa Cabra, Frisky Two Times and then The Gingerhead man. But to most I am Puss in Boots, outlaw!

Oh, for heaven's sake, son. You're no outlaw. Why, someday, you'll be called a great hero.

What you folks need is . . . a hero!

He's fine! We drank, we fought - he made his ancestors proud!

"There was (an ancestor of yours named) "Brutus" once, that would have brooked
The eternal devil to keep his state in Rome
As easily as a king!"

"Et tu Brute" (I think thats how its spelled)

"Here's Decius Brutus: he shall tell them so."

On 156
/
Your spelling is correct,
pollysmith.

...because he has the IQ of a rabbit.

(sarcastically):
"O, Rabbit, you're just a wanderer, aren't you?"

Look, Bigwig, when have I EVER asked to see the chief rabbit?

Prisoner: "I demand to see the Sultan!"

Guard: "You can't: He's with his wives.

Prisoner: I want to see him; I don't care if he's in hell!

Prisoner's aide: (If he's with his wives, that's
the same thing, anyway.)

~"She said she knew the Sultan!"

~"She thinks the monkey is the Sultan."

Taxi! Follow that ape!

There's five stinking apes out there. Which one are we taking to Vegas?

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That s***ll come back with you.

I have dog germs! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!

- - Have you decided whom to vote for?
- - GOLDwater in ʻ64: HOT water in ʻ65: BREAD AND water in ʻ66!

votes for women!

If you know what women want, you can rule!

Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want.

"My father wanted peace: I want Fort Yuma!

All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.

Slap some bacon on a biscuit and let's go! We're burnin' daylight!

But I'm not a field man! Van Helsing, I don't want to go to Transylvania!

Transylvania is not England. Our ways are not your ways. And to you there shall be many strange things.

"These things must not be thought of after these ways!
So, it will make us mad!"

She needs to get her priorities straight!

We're all mad here.

- -"Will you go to bed,* Malvolio?

- - "To BED (!?) AYE, sweetheart!!"

*bed: bed rest was,in Elizabethan times, a sort of "First Aid" for a fit of
madness (179). But that isnʻt the way M. takes it.

This is the oddest thing I've ever heard of. Let's hope we don't catch it. I'd hate to wake up some morning and find out that you weren't you.

- - Hero, to crowd: "I AM Professor FATE!!"

Crowd: (Absolute silence).

Young man, we need a professional hero, not an amateur.

Look, I performed a public service. You act like that's a bad thing.

What are you going to do when you're not saving the world? Have you given any thought to that?

I will fight crime butt-ass naked before I fight it in that, Ray.

You know, you have fought naked. We got that. That's on Youtube

Look, I'll pay top dollar for your performance, but right now a madman is destroying our city!

Lucius: Honey?
Honey: What?
Lucius: Where's my super suit?
Honey: What?
Lucius: Where - is - my - super - suit?
Honey: I, uh, put it away.
helicopter explodes outside
Lucius: *Where*?
Honey: *Why* do you *need* to know?
Lucius: I need it!
Lucius rummages through another room in his condo
Honey: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no daring-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months!
Lucius: The public is in danger!
Honey: My evening's in danger!
Lucius: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!
Honey: 'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest *good* you are ever gonna get!l

(Sorry it's a long one, but I laugh every time I think of it!)

You actually go outside in these things?

Well, what would you prefer? Yellow spandex?

*kirby: my granddaughter and her mother would quote that entire scene. Charlotte was 3 at the time. It was hilarious.

~ Can I ask you why you are wearing that?

~ Combination of factors. No clean clothes.

~ There never will be unless you actually clean your clothes.

~ Vicious circle. And I was rooting around in your things and found this and thought, groovy. Kind of... spacy.

I have more than two grades of laundry, okay? There's not just clean and dirty. There are many subtle levels. Okay? See? You hang this outside the window for twenty minutes... it's perfectly fine.

Listen! Do you smell something?

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Example... uh... ogres are like onions!

They stink?

Quelle est? Ah, le belle femme skunk fatale!

You speak French?

- -"Sprachen Sie Deutsch?"

- - "Non, Io non parlo tedesco. Lei parla italiano?"

- - "Nein!"

"You speak-a nEnglish?"

"Jawohl! All right. Ve speak English. Now ve must vork out a plan against these
American Schweinhunden."

"Whatʻs-a make-a you think Iʻm-a onna your side?!"

At least I've chosen a side.

"Would you rather coach at
BOSTON COLLEGE or at Dartmouth?

"Would YOU rather drink BOURBON -- or milk?"

Ballplayers. I don't have ballplayers, I've got girls. Girls are what you sleep with after the game, not, not what you coach during the game.

~You look like a girl!

~That's what I am, half-wit!

~Yes, but today you look it!

~Boy or girl, I can still whip you!

Give me the whip!

Passenger: ʻHow about letting ME take the wheel?"

Reckless Driver: Oh. All right. (begins to unscrew the steering wheel for handing it over.)

I . . . I don't think I should be driving.

Ahhh...a bear in his natural habitat: A Studebaker.

I'm smarter than the average bear.

Perhaps I am not as stupid as I am ugly, commander!

What did you call me?!?

Substitute chemistry teacher.

Well, Mr Snelgrove, I happen to know that in the future I will not have the slightest use for algebra, and I speak from experience.

Come on, Rory. It's not rocket science. It's just quantum physics.

"What am I afraid of her for? She's no rocket scientist."
"Well, actually, she is a rocket scientist."

- - "What are all these rockets FOR?"

- - "To defend our country!

- - "And what IS our country?

- - "England! er-- (embarrassedly correcting himself) --
I mean Britain!"

- - OUR country is Scotland!

The trouble with Scotland is that it's full of Scots.

You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?

I see dead people.

We used to have to defer to the dead because they outnumbered us. But not any more. Today,* the living outnumber the dead.

*today: ca. 1971

I think it's a good day to die, Sir!

Death is the only adventure I haven't had.

Prepare to die!

Sure, we'll be prepared . . . prepared for what?

I'll unleash all my Wilderness Explorer training!

Letʻs face it: Weʻre LOST! Lost in Alaska, and itʻs all your fault!

It's not my fault!

"The fault, dear Brutus,
Is not within our stars, but in our selves
That we are underlings . . ."

Assemble the minions!

I've always wanted to use that spell!

~You're saying what I'm feeling is just one of your spells?

~ Yeah. It's not real. And if you stay, I wouldn't know if it was because of the spell and... you wouldn't know if it was because I didn't want to go to prison.

Oh, what am I gonna do? Well, right now, I'm just going to use the F-word: Felony.

~ Remember my nickname when we were in the joint?

~ The Brain?

~ The Brain. That's what the guys used to call me, right?

~ But, Ray! That was sarcastic!

Well, some people without brains do an awful lot of talking don't they?

Is it...dead?

- - "Is he dead?"

- - "If heʻs not now, he never will be."

He's only mostly dead.

" ʻThem as DIESʻll be the LUCKY ones!ʻ "

He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.

It's just a flesh wound!

'Tis but a scratch.

- - "did ʻBored in the Officeʻ
finish in the money?

- - " ʻBored in the Officeʻ was a late scratch.

Does this look infected to you?

This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

Getting long here. I'll start a new thread