Bradford V. Oliver

The basic premise of this story is interesting -- a college girl who has had tragedy in her life discovers that a boy she likes has a dark secret. Just knowing that secret is dangerous....

But....the story is poorly edited and poorly written.

The sentence structure is awkward in many places. Word choices seem stilted. Many times incorrect words are used (like using I'd instead of I'll) and there are many misspelled words. There are some issues with the plot and character development as well.

Editing -- even for a short story or novella -- is VITAL. And, basic story construction and development is key to making a sci-fi/horror type story pop off the page and come to life.

I see potential here. But writing skills and editing need to come into play.....

In its present form, this story is nearly unreadable. I'm giving it two stars because the basic story idea is interesting. I'd like to see this indy author grow and develop his skills. But promising an honest review means giving an honest review. This story needs a lot of work. As a professional writer, I always strive to give the best advice I can as kindly as I can. Focus on: Editing and Story craft.… (más)