Mal McKissock

I’m not really one for reading self-help books, and indeed the fact that after blogging everything I’ve read since 2007 I’ve had to introduce the category just for this book is an indication of that…

But Coping with Grief was there at the library when I was browsing for audio books to listen to on my daily trip to Keysborough to visit my father in aged care, and I thought, why not, maybe there’s something to learn. It’s many years since I read Kubler-Ross on the stages of grief, a book which was not a self-help book but rather an explanation of the process, one which I have recognised in myself in different contexts as well as in others around me:
1.Denial – The first reaction is denial. In this stage individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.
2.Anger – When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame?”; “Why would this happen?”.
3.Bargaining – The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise.
4.Depression – “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die soon, so what’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.
5.Acceptance – “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions. (Wikipedia, viewed 18/9/16).

Coping With Grief talks about these aspects of grieving, but also covers the difficult first year, physical reactions, the funeral and children.

To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2016/09/18/coping-with-grief-by-mal-mckissock-and-diane...… (más)