Katherine Mayfield

It's rare that I come across a book that I'm thankful I read for more than just entertainment purposes. That's how I went into this book, but I ended up learning so much. The book is a memoir about a Kathy Mayfield and how she gret up with a dysfunctional family. Her mother has to be first and best; her father seems distant, and to deal with this, Kathy put herself in to the Good Little Girl mentality, and it stays with her for the rest of her life.

I loved the open and honest way it was written. I also really enjoyed reading about some of her coping techniques. I've found myself in some similar situations, and I plan on trying some of the things she tried for herself in the book.

Over all, it was a fantastic read.… (más)

TITLE: "The Box of Daughter"
AUTHOR: Katherine Mayfield
PUBLISHER: The Essential Word Press
RATING: 5
AGES: 17 +

REVIEW: Every now and then we come across a book that hits so close to home it's astounding. This was the one for me. As I read Katherine's recounting of being a little girl and being expected to be exactly the way her mother wanted her to be no matter what I began to recall my own childhood and it amazed me how much like Katherine's it truly was.

I grew up with a mother that was zealously religious, everything I did was wrong, and I could never please her. My mother also had serious mental issues that were never diagnosed or treated. There were even some of the things in this book that Katherine's mother did to her and said to her that were synonymous with my own memories and I felt horrified that someone could have lived the same life I did.

Before long though I began to feel a kinship with the author and in the realization that I had not been the only one to go through this made me love the book and the story all the more. I somehow felt as though I had been able to get my own story out without ever having lifted a pen or pressing a key.

Thank you Katherine for this story and for what it means to those that may have lived much the same life we did... in 'the box of daughter.'

This is most certainly a healing and spiritually enlightening book, one everyone should read.… (más)

This book is a truly open and honest account of the authors life, growing up whilst being captured in the middle of emotional abuse. I started to read the book not knowing what to expect, by the third page I had a lump in my throat and the dread in my stomach of how a little girl tries so desperately to please her mum and how a mothers simplest actions can have so much affect on a child. As a parent myself, I immediately started to think of certain things I have done in the past, meaning no harm, but questioning what affect this may have had on my child.

The author lived in a dominant and controlling environment when all she needed and craved for was the physical and emotional love of her parents, tenderness, a kiss, a smile, a cuddle, praise. Living the life of two families was how things were expected, one show for the public, family and friends against the real family situation, inside their home, of emotional neglect, sadness, loneliness and for a little girl the lack of tolerance. This lack made her life virtually unbearable, being almost too scared to breathe, as she learnt from a very young age that the only way to please was to be the good little girl, how the box of daughter should be. Stopping herself from enjoying any part of life, so she didn't get hurt when it was taken away from her was another part of growing up.

What you do realise as you read more into the book is that her parents lived a very lonely life together, handed down from generations of how parents behaved. You could almost feel their depression as they lived their daily lives. You also feel the anger and jealousy as her mother continually took the limelight at any given opportunity over her daughters achievements.

For me the breaking point is when the family had the chance to move to California for 3 years. The author finally finds some freedom and the feeling of acceptance from the school, youth club and theatre club. Things were starting to improve when they were suddenly taken away as the family had to move back to their original area due to her fathers job. This to me leads to more unbalanced feelings and increased frustrations of the whole family.

Then living through the caring of her elderly parents as she holds onto all the past pain and resentment of all the things she never experienced as a child. When the day came when she was finally free to live her life as she wanted to, the sheer shock and confusion in her mind on how to life without the shadowing criticism over her, starts to hit her. As the lines read ' I was left with threads of many colours that I didn't have any idea how to sift and sort them into any kind of order, or whether I even needed any of them at all to weave a new tapestry for my life.' Recommended reading.… (más)