Patrice Lewis

I was thinking of reading a popular urban (ie Black) romance, but that book is kinda long as I remember and I haven’t gotten into it much yet, and I’ve been trying to read popular adventures to balance it out, but I actually think I need to take a little time and bang this out, because the adventures drag you down sometimes and don’t give you what you desire. (Don’t blow the house up! Buy it out! Then rent it! 🥳) Because no romance writer will tell you that you don’t need an income stream, but a military adventure writer WILL often tell you, you know, Callousness is the dew of heaven, the gift of King Odin IV, whom Pope Philosophus III has blessed, and blah blah blah, and it’s like…. You guys write mass-market-paperback-adventures. If I wanted the Oxford University Plan to Blast Off To Mars and run a prison empire there, I wouldn’t have bought a book with a picture of a medieval swordsman swording a troll and running out of a prison cell. We focus on growing up as growing the rational ego mind, the storyteller and the planner and so on, without which we wouldn’t have even the stories that seven and eight and ten year olds can read, just little cardboard ten-cardboard-pages crap for three-year-olds, but for many people growing up is also about losing the precious, precious little haughty schoolchild attitude that prepubescent children often have you know; taught to be as proper as even the British royalty realistically are /not/, they just accept all the precious precious little scholastic nothings we shovel into their trusting little psyches until they become right little warmonger devils in outer space half the time, you know. (But they’re so precious precious PRECIOUS, right. 🙄).

Here, kid. Here’s two dollars. Buy some candy. Leave me alone. Stop quoting Shakespeare to strangers. It’s not socially healthy, for fuck’s sake.

…. It’s simple, but it is nice to see people in rural America just trying to live, instead of actively making a mockery out of the country and the most popular religion with constant misdeeds. Of course, there’s often a lot that “simple folk” don’t understand, but the same is true in my case, naturally—and if the Great Goose wrote down our faults in permanent ink, well, who would like that? 🦕

…. And, while it’s not /really/ the kind of book you read for sociology IMO, I couldn’t help but learn that the Amish actually don’t /only/ live in Pennsylvania and the Midwest, but also, less commonly, in certain other parts of rural America.

…. And while the book is a little coy about money sometimes, at least when it comes to specific sums of the stuff, I don’t think it’s fundamentally dishonest or avoidant of the fact that a romantic relationship is (in part) an economic relationship, in addition to being something else too.

…. Of course, it’s not about girlie seeking out new life and new civilization, boldly going where no girl has gone before!— more like, a familiar civilization and where you can often find girlie. 😗 But, if it’s not that kind of thing, it certainly doesn’t ignore her and her world, and gives some appreciation for the sort of familiar, perhaps inconspicuous, easily-ignored work that girlie does in life, you know—work that she does very commonly.

…. And I’m not shy about calling it work. In the opening of one of those stupid patriotic songs they play where I work—aside from the fact that it’s kinda a money-phobic line, but that’s another story—the man sings the line, “If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d worked for all my life”, but if a woman sings it, it’s what she “hoped for” all her life; and I’m like, Boy, is that rich! 😂 Girls don’t work! They’re all show-girls in Vegas, or something! (Although—well, we won’t talk about that. 😹).

…. Patriotic Singer: If tomorrow all the things were gone, I paid cash money for—I’d whoop with glee, grab by gun, and go to war….
Wife/Financial Adviser: (makes face)

…. And of course, in a sense I don’t identify with the classic rural story of needing to move away from the city, or at least, in my case, the coastal suburbs or whatever—“Heck, I don’t care if I can get an internet connection out here in God’s green woods!” (female teenager face) You fucking kidding me old man—but I do get the idea which I think it’s about as well, that in the “highly educated world” or whatever, you have to ask permission for being who you want to be be, (which in a way is only slightly different than living according to custom), and if your theory doesn’t generate the break-even amount of anger in the nay-sayers, they’ll eat you to make up the difference, you know. 🦖😸

…. I should probably read billionaire romances, though. I didn’t realize how much I was reinforcing my patterns by picking up the Amish thing. I’m overly conscientious. I’d be a box-checker—if only I were that ambitious. The Amish don’t really produce impractical nerds, but they defs reinforce that Kant Junior side of me. (Cf Never never never never give up.) Always always always always obey!…. (Heather from Crazy Ex Girlfriend) Yeah…. It was brutal.

(decides to leave the Amish village with the radio blasting) We’re all happy: even when we’re smiling out of fear! Let’s go down to the tennis court: and talk it up like yeah, yeah! And talk it up like, yeah, yeah! Let’s go down to the tennis court….

—(covering ears) This music is nicht gut!
—I don’t know what tennis is!
—Me neither! It’s probably something rebellious!
—I wonder if it’s connected to rap….

Definitely one of my patterns, playing at Amishness.

…. But I don’t knock it for not being a thriller, or “good” literature; God always knows what’s going to happen, but it doesn’t stop the guy from being amused.

…. It is funny how you’re supposed to be stubbornly negative about the possibility of getting what you want, you know. Visualize defeat! Visualize defeat!!

—Och, aye, Malachy: we’ll never convince to Miss Ruth to join the Amish and become our mother! It’s an impossible undertaking! It’s not happened before, not between us and Miss Ruth, not five years ago, not ten years ago—never! It can’t be done!

—(God) heh. Idiot. (popcorn) I should have created these fuckers with some common sense, and not just with religion. (laughs)

…. You let people run wild, you figure they need community control; you try community control, you end up with this situation where I torment myself because I like you and you and you don’t like me, and you torment yourself because you like me and I don’t like you, and we smile shyly and cutely at each each other in our pain, and people whisper, Those two should really behave. 💣

…. I guess you can’t expect subtlety from two hundred tiny pages of Christian romance, you know. “So that’s why I left New York. People try to make money in New York, you know. It’s terrible. I thought I would have friends, there; I had this dream—I would change my name to Phoebe and I would make friends named Rachel and Monica, and maybe we would go into acting, you know….” I’m not sure which is worse, naive cynicism, or regular naivety. After a certain point, I don’t even know which is which. 😸

…. On the one hand, I don’t think that people should be forced to do things that they don’t want to, even not being modern, if it doesn’t hurt anyone, but it is kinda weird and scary that someone would basically say, you know, No, you don’t come from this village, so I don’t want your money. And besides, you’re a city-lawyer-stereotype! The least I can do is lie to you! If you don’t like it, take it up with my feudal overlord, Gott! (slams door) —Honey, are we still in America? —I’m not sure…. —Maybe we need to exchange our dollars for some kind of local currency…. 😹

I’m a Christian, but, you know what, Christians are scary sometimes! 👹👻🤡

…. Wow, I never thought a “silly love song”, as Paul called them, could leave such a bad taste in my mouth, you know. “Since you have submitted to the Village, and formally shunned the Village’s enemies, we hereby license you to engage in licit sexual contact—within the Village limits, of course. But don’t walk past that second tree, or you can never come back.” 🩰⚔️🌳🌳… (más)

An Amish story with a twist! Those words best describe "The Amish Newcomer." Leah goes to live with an Amish family after she witnesses a crime and becomes part of the witness protection program. However, Leah never expects to become an integral part of the Amish community, finding a use for her journalism skills and gaining a family and a faith. Although the road is not easy, Leah emerges as a strong character, and perhaps finds a kindred spirit in Isaac.

Characters in this novel are likeable and realistic. The Amish community setting provides a fitting background for Leah's journey of self-discovery. The message of Christian faith is overt and plays an integral role in the story.
Readers will also enjoy the contrasts between the Amish community and the Los Angeles community in which Leah lived and worked. This is a clean novel, with no explicit violence, intimate adult situations, or strong language. I hope the author continues to write about these characters, as this was a very fine entrance into the world of Amish-based fiction.

I received this novel from the publisher and from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.… (más)

A very enjoyable and sweet romance about Los Angeles television journalist, Leah, who witnesses a murder and ends up in witness protection, temporarily sent to live in an Amish community in Ohio. While living amongst the Amish and trying to blend in, Leah slowly learns and comes to embrace the Amish way of life. She also meets a handsome Amish man, Isaac, who she has a lot more in common with than she’d expect. This story was filled with so many lovely characters. Leah and Isaac made such a cute couple and I liked how they really took to each other. The family that Leah stayed with, The Bylers, were so kind and considerate and really made Leah feel like one of the family. I loved the sense of community that was felt throughout the story, and it was interesting to learn a lot about the Amish way of life.… (más)