Mark R. Leary

The theme here is summed up in the preface: half the challenges we face are self-caused—not through stupidity or laziness necessarily, but because of the very way the mind is, the way it works.
    Unlike most authors, Leary starts by telling us precisely what he means by “self”: the part of our mental apparatus which allows us to think consciously, makes possible introspection and the creation of a mental representation of ourselves (including how we think we look and sound to everyone else). Its downside though is that it also “…distorts our perceptions of the world, leads us to draw inaccurate conclusions about ourselves and other people, and thus prompts us to make bad decisions based on faulty information.” The bulk of the book then explores in some detail the nuts-and-bolts psychology of how this happens (and, at times, makes for uncomfortable reading).
    The self: it’s like looking at everything through a permanently distorting lens; it warps the way we view (and evaluate) both ourselves, other people and the world in general, while also leaving us unaware of any distortion. This self-reflecting apparatus is not in itself flawed and in the distant past was a runaway success; but the analogy the author uses is of our taste for sugars and fats—a helpful adaptation fifty-thousand years ago, but a liability in a world in which we live the way we do now.
    This book’s melodramatic title is misleading; the writing is measured, plain and very readable. And how refreshing: a 350-page psychology book without a single word of jargon in it anywhere. Its disconcerting message boils down to two facts. First, everyone—everyone, consistently and unavoidably—has a distorted picture of the world (and of ourselves). On its own, the consequences would be serious enough. But the second fact is that we also overestimate how distorted everyone else’s perceptions and beliefs are, while simultaneously—and just as consistently and unavoidably—underestimating our own. The result is…well, just switch on the TV News any day of the week.… (más)

Most of us want to understand human behavior, but it's often a puzzle. Why do siblings, born and raised in the same family, turn out so different? Why do identical twins have noticeably different personalities--and yet, also share some personality traits and preferences, even if they were adopted out and raised in different families? How different are men and women really? Why do we have behaviors that, in modern society, seem wildly maladaptive?

There's a lot of interesting material here, well-organized, and well-presented. There were a few occasions when I wanted to shout, "Have you met human beings?" A notable one: when he cited conflicts over football games as "unimportant." Seriously? Whether it's American football or the kind the rest of the world plays, surely everyone agrees that's life or death! Um, well, yes, that's a joke. But only a little one. Don't diss someone's chosen team!

But seriously, the subject matter is interesting, and the presentation is entertaining and absorbing.

Recommended.

I bought this audiobook.… (más)

Many of us want to understand personality, our own and other people's better, and in this Great Courses set of lectures, Mark Leary presents the current state of knowledge in psychology, neuroscience, and genetics, as it applies to human personality, how it develops, how it affects our choices and our relationships with others, and how much we can affect our own personalities so that we can improve those things if we're not satisfied currently.

This isn't a self-help book. It's not a handbook to fixing yourself. It's intended to expand your knowledge and understanding, and I found that it does that.

He covers the origins of the study of personality, the broadly agreed basics of personality, what's genetic, what's the result of life experience (most features of individual personality are affected by both), and how we've learned these things.

It's really fascinating how much of ordinary personality features are in fact highly heritable. At the same time, very few things are entirely determined by genetics.

He also discusses personality disorders, which have a large heritability component, but are also probably genetically complex. That is, they're not just one gene. They're likely to be a complex set of genes, creating an increased risk of developing a particular personality disorder.

Leary is clear about when he's talking about broadly accepted scientific principles, and when he's expressing his own opinion or sharing his own opinion or scientific ideas that are still speculative. He's a very good, lively, interesting speaker, and I very much enjoyed listening to him.

Recommended.

I bought this audiobook.… (más)