Norah Hess

*This is a TBRChallenge review, there will be spoilers, I don't spoil everything but enough, because I treat these reviews as a bookclub discussion.

A trapper/general store worker is blue collar, right?? No surprise I'm behind in reading and while I had a Nora Roberts picked out for this month's theme, Blue Collar, this Wednesday popped up quicker than I was ready for. So, how about a NoraH Hess instead?

I was about halfway through this before I decided that I was going to use it for TBRChallenge, so I didn't really take any notes. But don't be too disappointed because this, umm, wasn't great. Not quite have me wildly ranting like the one and only other Hess I have read (Wildfire, mtns in NE?? SERIOUSLY??) but Not Great.

The story is set in a small trading post town in the Upper Michigan in the late 1880s. As a little girl, Laura loses her parents to death (I warned you all I didn't take notes, lol) and gets adopted by the general store owner family, pa Taylor, ma Maria-ishsomething, and son Fletch the wretch (he's way worse than a wretch but I was feeling rhyme-y). Maria(?) is Taylor's second wife but in a romance book turn, she's great! But poor Maria(?) can't completely escape the time period and genre and dies, too. The little family of pa, wretch, and hey, she's no picnic either Laura grow to all love each other. You hear that dun, dun, DUN, don't you? Yes, Laura grows up beautiful and develops feelings for Fletch. I can't remember Fletch's age but he's older than Laura, mentions of gray started to show in his hair and Laura is 17/18ish at this time.

The small-town is full of gossipy gossips and of course a lot of the women hate Laura and a lot of the men want her. Laura's womanly vibes become too much for Fletch and he succumbs to her! They have a romantic night in the barn where Laura wakes up dreamily thinking of marriage but soon realizes Fletch has flown the coop. Fletch in all his wisdom decides to go off with some trappers to Canada for a year to give Laura time to decide if her feelings are real. Does Fletch tell or discuss this with Laura, letting her know that he has feelings for her too? No. Such a better idea to bang and bounce making Laura feel used. Guess what happens? Laura winds up preggos.

Pa Taylor is crushed and angry when sweet little Laura tells him she's pregnant and then won't say who the father is. Laura doesn't want Pa to be mad at Fletch. Guess what happens? Pa marries Laura. Now, don't fly off into pervy hell land like I started to, it's as above board as a situation can be when a pa marries his adopted daughter. The marriage is to protect Laura's good name and give legitimacy to, what turns out to be, her baby daughter.

Guess what happens? Fletch comes back after the year of trapping, all ready to kiss and marry Laura and instead discovers Pa married to Laura. He totally takes it calmly. LOL NO. Fletch flings “whore” and “slut” at Laura whenever he can. When it's obvious that pa and Laura have a marriage in name only, Fletch instead thinks Laura is sleeping around on pa and making him a laughingstock. Fletch is pretty much a dick while still lusting after Laura and then blaming her for his lusting.

Tied in with Laura and Fletch's drama is pa's relationship with Butterfly, a Native woman with a tribe that is nearby. Pa loves her and does eventually end up marrying her but just be aware that while this didn't have the worse depictions of Native Americans, it wasn't the best with some lazy stereotypes.

I called Laura no picnic either because she's that quintessential '90s heroine that is supposed to be feisty and strong but is instead don't cut off your nose to spite your face. She's a stubborn one ol' Laura and refuses to just admit that the baby is Fletch's. When Taylor figures it out, Laura decides to run away at around 75%. Guess what happens? Fletch finds her and loves his little daughter now. Fletch drags Laura back and Laura decides to run again but oh he's a wretch but a smart one! Fletch takes the baby with him stopping Laura from being able to run away. Laura is out of ideas so she decides to just stay and deal with the cheating she anticipates Fletch doing because of course he doesn't love her.

The last ten minutes of the story have Laura giving Fletch a bj and even though I was like “What's happening?” because I guess I'm not a good guesser??, it has been such a dry spell in newer contemporary romance that my pervy side was like, “Don't hate it.” Shrug. The ending was ridiculously abrupt with Fletch asking Laura to marry him and I think he said I love you and Laura doing a 180 deg. and saying Yes! and anticipating their obvious happily ever after.

If you took a drink, let alone a shot, every time the word “whore” was used in this you'd be dead. Fletch was the worst of the alphahole heroes, Laura was overly stubborn for no reason, the marriage of a pa and his adopted daughter was cringe, lazy Native American stereotypes, the sex scenes were more lascivious than emotional, and the ending with it's quick get them together in no way delivered a satisfactory or believable love story between these two. I'll end on a positive note, though. This line from pa was nice: "Laura," he said gently, "you can feel disappointed in yourself that you loved unwisely, but don't be ashamed that you loved."… (más)

Amateur hour once again. It is taking serious effort on my part to continue with this story. The female lead character, Serena, is a stupid spoiled b*tch. The only comment I have about the male lead character Josh, is that his last name is Quade and I keep thinking about "Total Recall" (Arnold Schwarzenegger movie) and the freaky thing that popped out of that guy's stomach. Neither character is impressing me here.
 
The story started to get better, still far from being good mind you, when they start on the Oregon Trail. However, the story still couldn't hold my attention as I kept thinking about the old computer game "Oregon Trail" and how much damn fun it was to play.
When they ford the river in the story I thought back sadly to numerous oxen over the years I had lost fording my own river in the game.
 
Alright, so their first booty scene came out of nowhere, like different universe nowhere, and was sucky.
 
Hey shout out to Ft. Kearney! I use to live about 30 miles north of there and I wasn't aware there were any mountains in that area or any part of Nebraska. Ok what in the holy hell is going on. Ms. Hess has the wagon train just entering NE then just a week later arriving at Ft. Laramie! WTF, yes in 1864 Wyoming didn't exist (it was considered Idaho) but it's sheer dumbness to say a wagon train could cross all of NE (or what was called NE territory but basically the same borders during this time as the current state has ) and make it to Ft. Laramie in a week. Maybe I know to much about this (being from NE and being hammered down with its one claim to fame, the Oregon Trail) but come on!! Research Ms. Hess, research.
 
I'm not usually a proponent for domestic violence but when Josh slapped Serena across the face I was jealous I couldn't do the same thing.Uuugggghhh! I just read that they traveled 40 miles in one day in a covered wagon! And here I was under the impression the average was around 10 miles a day. Jesus, get me some of whatever they were feeding those oxen.
 
This book was so bad it got my competitive juices flowing and it was me against the book to read the whole thing, which I did. It never got better and where the hell was the editor on this one? This book was so bad I don't know if I should laugh or cry over how it wasted time from my life to read it.… (más)