Ellen Hendriksen

I give this 3 stars because like *all* self help books the actual practical advice could be summarised on 2 pages and save a lot of time... I always hate the "patient" anecdotes used to pad things out and skimmed through all of them, and a lot of the other repetitive or common sense sections to get to the bits I found helpful. There is a lot of padding and this is not a long book!

Also note this book probably won't contain any new information unless you have never read any books or articles on Social Anxiety before (or CBT, which is the treatment this book utilises)

However.. it is extremely readable, accessible and easy to digest, and it has helped encouraged me to push through challenging my SA. There is good advice in here so I actually would recommend this - especially if you read and enjoyed Quiet by Susan Cain (which had a huge impact on how I viewed myself!)

I had made strides pre-2020 pandemic by myself with my anxiety but then the following 2 years of social isolation and getting a free pass from "other people" has meant all that work has reset and my SA is worse than ever... But I am determined to recover my confidence in 2022 and I have already used some of the advice I found on this book to some small successes.… (más)

An exploration into the various issues which go into social anxiety and methods derived from the work of social psychology regarding how to allay them.

The author's primary purpose is to assure the reader, who she assumes has some level of social anxiety so as to wish to read said book, does not lack social skills or social ability: instead, they are hindered by (and often in fact actively sabotage themselves through) feelings of social inadequacy which lead to the types of reactions which the person fears in the first place. She attributes these to the aspect of self deemed the "Inner Critic," the voice which is heard by those with social anxiety to justify why certain situations are to be avoided or certain avoidance behaviors should be manifested.

The author speaks of her own challenges in terms of social anxiety and points out how social anxiety has its place and existence for a reason and how those who are hindered by it have many positive personality traits of kindness, care, concern, etc., parallel to it. She explains well the kinds of things which can be done to help overcome social anxiety: to push back on the "inner critic," fake it until you make it, persist and it becomes easier, realize that no one is really noticing the things you think are really obvious, but they are noticing the ways you're trying to hide, etc.

The author ends with the challenge of finding and making friends, and does well to advise people to find those in proximity who are kind and to be kind in return, and in such ways make friends.

In short, the author encourages those with social anxiety to be themselves, because they are sufficient, even if they don't recognize it.

Worthwhile for anyone who, in some aspect or another, has pronounced social anxiety.… (más)