Jeff Goodell

Are you ready for bad news? If you own or have a partnership interest in any beachfront property in South Florida, it’s time to sell. The disappearing ice shelves in Antarctica should result in a significantly rising Atlantic Ocean in twenty years or less, and Florida isn’t that far above sea level.

Even if your property is inlands all those septic tanks built before municipal sewage lines could start floating to the surface....maybe even the buried remains of Jackie Gleason, Meyer Lansky and a few other non-celebrities.

Regular floods from high seas and hurricanes already disrupt Florida sewage systems leaving really high coliform counts in the water.

Know what that means?

Yup. You’re swimming in it.

Cruise ships aside, it’s also a pretty good time to book that once-in-a-lifetime trip to Venice, Italy. Multi-billion dollar efforts to save the architectual treasures of San Marco Square are unlikely to succeed.

And lower Manhattan residents, if you thought Hurricane Sandy was a one-off you’ve got another thing coming: make America soggy again!

It’s probably impolite of me to make fun of this. Millions will lose their homes and governments around the world aren’t doing nearly enough to slow climate change or convince people to move away from low-lying properties near vulnerable coastlines.

Migration will grow to much higher levels than we’ve seen in the last few years so the status quo won’t work.

Let’s get on it folks.

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