Alan Goldsher

Taking place in an alternative reality that is very much like our own, with the exception that zombies and vampires are a part of the population, The Beatles are still an iconic band of the 60's and early 70's. The major differences are that though they broke up, they are all still around because they are, with the exception of Ringo, zombies. Ringo is a ninja, and he was chosen to be their drummer because the others felt they needed to have at least one living member to be palatable to the audiences, what with their fingers tending to fall off during guitar solos, and they wanted someone with the skills to fight, because not everyone likes zombies.
This is the story of the rise of a "zombie" band, which angers the band The Zombies so much that their singer stalks The Beatles and regrets it. Mick Jagger also follows The Beatles, but that's because he's a trained zombie killer. And Roy Orbison is some kind of galactic creature whose sunglasses are tempering his mighty power. Yoko is a higher level ninja than Ringo.

The story is wild, and some passages are funny. I found the style, that of events being gone over from multiple angles as an investigative reporter interviews everyone involved in the band's history, to make the story drag quite a bit. It isn't what's being said, it's having to keep who's speaking straight because it jumps from character to character so much. But a pretty outrageous tale.… (más)

Even though I didn't like Paul is Undead, Alan Goldsher's clumsy first attempt to mash the Beatles' story with a zombie theme, I still thought I should give Give Death a Chance a chance. It seemed appealingly short, and I thought maybe Goldsher might have rectified some of his mistakes from the first book. Unfortunately, this proved not to be the case. All the negatives about Paul is Undead (and there are so, so many) also apply to this sequel and, despite its short length, it dragged interminably, lacking any originality, spark or wit. The story is even less interesting a second time round, here focusing on a modern-day zombified Beatles trying to work their way back to the top. This drags it even further away from the real Beatles story, so you don't even get many of the half-hearted laughs provided by Beatles trivia in-jokes that you did in the first book.

The insipid use of 'fook' continues from the first book, and Goldsher appears to have picked up a new favourite word, 'plonker'. Someone should tell him what it means, as I've never heard it used with the meaning he attaches to it. I'm beginning to doubt the writer has ever even met an Englishman (he even thinks we drive on the right - as in 'not left' - side of the road), and just came across the word randomly, thought it sounded funny and couldn't be bothered to find out what it meant. I only smiled once or twice reading this (and never once laughed): at the 'fook your sheepdog, Macca' bit from Lennon and the bit where the Gallagher brothers from Oasis ape the zombie Beatles by drawing decaying flesh on themselves with marker pens. Goldsher also takes the opportunity to comment on the state of the modern music business, noting how it is all about marketing nowadays rather than talent. He's right, but it's hard to support his argument when his own offering shows a pathetic lack of talent too.

In the end, I'm glad I read Give Death a Chance because people who didn't like Paul is Undead usually wouldn't bother to read this sequel. This would mean reviews for the second book are likely to be unduly positive, coming only from those who (inexplicably) liked the first one. So I hope I've redressed the balance here somewhat. This is terrible. Goldsher even ends it with a half-baked ambiguous ending. As if we actually care. I find it unfathomable that people actually like this, or the first book, and I say that as someone who is willing to give just about anything a fair shake. It reads like the fan fiction of a twelve-year-old boy who likes zombies and ninjas (I was surprised there were no dinosaurs here too), posted into obscurity on some website. Yet Goldsher is a successful writer. It is baffling. This is truly, truly awful.… (más)