Carlina Duan

I saw Duan read (mostly) from this collection at a reading with Farnaz Fatemi. Unfortunately, this collection was on back-order from the publisher at the time, so the venue didn't have any copies for sale. But her words stayed with me such that when I got home I added myself to the back-order list the very next day.

At the reading she read a powerful poem on language and hate and identity, but my favorite, the one that drove me to the publisher's website to click Buy, was "Possible" — about finding the inspiration to be possible — to be your self and have a voice and claim your space — a bit that stuck in my head (my soul) was about the "purpling" of the lilacs in the backyard. It brought me to tears, but with JOY and POSSIBILITY.

Once I had the collection in my hot little hands, I added more poems to my list of favorites, especially "Love Potion" and "Dear Tinder Screen," but "Possible" remains at the top of the list.

— & oh, I am possible again. I am
a fragrant, silly self today. I thank
the worms who eat the dirt who
break down the soil who make
the lilacs possible and young, forever
purpling...

… (más)

I read this book via an Amazon-US KINDLE Unlimited download.

A great deal of you reading this might be the product of immigrant parents [of which me and my sibling happen to be] had to have wrestled between their cultural upbringing and that of being an American; being older I had a greater struggle.

The fact of the matter is that many of us, or our ancestors, have had to wrestle with the same things as Ms. Duan did in attempting to blend in with the other cultural consciousnesses to become part of what makes America great. As children we had to deal with growing up in a dual cultural environment where we learned about being an American while still keeping true to our cultural heritage intact.

I’m glad the author didn’t shy away from poignantly telling the pains she’d endured in writing her poetry. Although I’m not Chinese, I still felt that the author had spoken not only to both my heart and my mind, but to everyone reading this book regardless of how many generations they can trace their ancestry being here in the U.S.; which is why Ms. Duan has garnered 5 STARS from this author.… (más)

Poems of Loneliness, Loss, and Defiance

(Full disclosure: I received a free electronic ARC for review through NetGalley.)

I was her American
daughter, my tongue
my hardest muscle
forced to swallow
a muddy alphabet.
("FRACTIONS, 1974")

in Japan,
I meet a white-haired woman who
tells me her name means moon.
But I am crescent now, she says.
Soon I will disappear.
("YEARS")

when
a boy plumps his lip on your throat
and asks you to say something dirty
in CHINESE, you flip the sheets
and bite down, tasting trouble
and rage. in the kitchen, alone,
you devour a pickle. your white
classmate sees you. does not.
white men claim you. do not.
you are small, fierce, and evil: with
two palms and a chest. there are
boxes made for you to check.
Chinese /
American. Chinese / American.
your mom calls. she tells you to stop
writing about race. You could get
shot, she says. so you yank your hair
into a knot at the back of your neck.
so you cinch your belt tight
at the waist.
("YOUR MOM TELLS YOU TO STOP WRITING ABOUT RACE")

beware of the
Chink: how it bites.
("WHAT YOU LOOKIN’ AT, CHINK?")

#####

-- 3.5 stars --

Loneliness, grief, identity, alienation, illness, love, sex, rage, immigration, culture: the poems in I Wore My Blackest Hair glide and dance and sprint (and sometimes chomp their way) all over the map, but what they all (or mostly) share in common is an almost stubborn sense of defiance. These are stories about confronting mortality, navigating interpersonal strife, and pushing back against racist microaggressions while holding tight to one's will to keep on keeping on.

I've only recently started to read more poetry; my reticence stems from the fact that I don't always "get" the stuff. I think I got the gist of each piece, even if some (okay, a fair amount) of the imagery Duan employs went over my head. Even so, it was lovely just the same. And where it wasn't, it's because it wasn't meant to be. Some of my favorites include "MORNING COMES, I AM SHINY WITH IT," "CALUMET," "FRACTIONS, 1974," "MOON PULL," "I WANT MY BOOKS BACK," and (so much yes!) "YOUR MOM TELLS YOU TO STOP WRITING ABOUT RACE."

Incidentally, I did notice a certain pattern of repetition over time that I found a little...distracting, I guess? Certain images pop up time and again - corn and boiled eggs; pink mouths and straining muscles; hair, both head and body - almost to the point of obsession.

If I enjoyed a poet's work, I usually look them up on YouTube afterwards; hearing them perform the same pieces is often even more powerful and moving. I couldn't find too many videos of Carlina Duan, but this reading of "Twelve Years Old" is both stirring - and representative of the poems in I Wore My Blackest Hair.



CONTENTS

I WORE MY BLACKEST HAIR
PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
WHAT YOU LOOKIN’ AT, CHINK?
WHEN I BOILED THE CORN
AMENORRHEA
WHEN ALL YOU WANT
CALUMET
WHAT I’VE LOST
MORNING COMES, I AM SHINY WITH IT
EAST ANN
LITTLE SISTER, AMERICAN GIRL
GAME BOY ADVANCE
LATCHKEY
BELIEF IT IS NOT ENOUGH
FRACTIONS, 1974
YOUR MOM TELLS YOU TO STOP WRITING ABOUT RACE
I WASN’T JOKING
AUBADE FOR ANGEL ISLAND, CHINA COVE
EVERYTHING’S A FLY
AT THE SUSHI RESTAURANT HE CALLS HIMSELF A GRINGO
ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN • GENERATION 1
USIS • ANGEL ISLAND, CALIFORNIA • GENERATION 0
MOON PULL
I RUN AND I RUN AND I
THEN I WOKE UP IN YOUR BED
SEVERED
HERE I GO, TORCHING
HEY, MAN
SHUT DOWN
AT THE PARTY
PACKING LUNCH ON ANN STREET
AND WHEN
I WANT MY BOOKS BACK
ZODIAC
YEARS
PICKING RASPBERRIES WITH ADAM
PLEDGE 2.0, TRIBE, ZOO

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

http://www.easyvegan.info/2017/11/28/i-wore-my-blackest-hair-by-carlina-duan/… (más)

Thank you to netgalley and to publisher Little A for giving me a copy of this poetry collection in exchange for an honest review.

I requested this ARC through netgalley because I'm interested in experiencing more in my reading life than my traditional American life has provided me. Carlina Duan's poems were a peek into what it means to be American with Chinese heritage and expectations and what it takes to establish independence from parents yet still maintain love.

Carlina Duan writes about fighting to be a fighter, and it was exhilarating to read about all the biting in her poetry. I loved her taking on the expectations of being a girl, a woman, and having to be nice when she is perfectly capable of biting her way through this world.

The poem that resonated the most with me was "I Want My Books Back" and I felt the fury of anger in every carefully chosen word. Thank you, Carlina Duan, for opening my eyes to the wonders of yanking, biting, torching, and packing cuss words in my sleeves. Read this poetry collection and let your inner strength come out and rumble!… (más)