Lisa Selin Davis

Really interesting read! As a former tomboy, I was curious as to what this was all about. The author has two daughters, one more typically "girl-ish" and the other more "tomboy-ish" and this started her research into all types of gender awareness. I am a biological female and have been 99% happy with that all of my life. I never wanted to be a boy, just knew that they did fun things and I was all in (still am) on some of their fun. My mom never fussed or fretted; she would buy a dress that I would wear once (I did love them, they just weren't practical for tree climbing or to carry frogs), she usually made our clothes anyway and that meant non-descript t-shirts and hand me down jeans. It was perfect. She was the one who suggested a haircut because she was tired of combing branches of trees and leaves out of my hair from my last climb. The hairdo was perfect. I liked the boys. When puberty hit, I still liked the boys and then loved the men; still do. I love pants, comfy clothes, that is my style. I would love more pockets and utilitarian clothing. I wear boys shoes because my feet are small and pink, flashing shoes are not my thing. My children have names that could be considered for a girl/boy. I love being a woman and am a feminist. I think we are the stronger sex, by far. I will always clap for a human who is a badass and is rocking whoever they want to be. I learned a lot in this book about cisgender, bi, binary, non-binary, etc. etc. I think I have been successful in my career because of my tomboy ways and I don't intend to change. I do wear dresses in the summer, usually too big and rather billowy, especially if they have pockets; but the dresses are more for the air flow than anything else. My husband finds me sexy, and I know that I am. That is enough for me.… (más)

I found Tomboy to be a very thoughtful and thought-provoking look at gender nonconformity and gender policing. It talks about the historical contexts for tomboyism, the sorts of people tomboys grow up to be, how “tomboy” gets defined and redefined as cultural ideas of “girl” and “boy” shift, whether “tomboy” is always different from or the same as “nonbinary” or “trans”, and a lot more. Davis is more interested in asking questions, discussing research, and talking to current and former tomboys, than in providing answers, and her overall message is to open up gendered activities, interests, and clothes to all kids and accept kids’ interests and needs, whatever they are.

I enjoyed seeming Davis discuss not only how girls and other AFAB people are affected by ideas of “girl things”, but also how those ideas limit and affect boys and how class and race affect who’s perceived as a tomboy. I liked that she made a point to say that tomboys grow up to be cis and trans and nonbinary and of talking to people from all those groups for their experiences, and I was also glad to see her discussing how tomboy rep has declined in media in favour of trans rep and the pros and cons of that shift. I was a little disappointed that Davis kept saying “straight or lesbian”, despite her knowing that bi and pan people exist, and that ace people didn’t even get a nod. (Perhaps it’s a lack of studies on both fronts? The fact that asexuality is relatively “new” and adult aces might be harder to find?)

Overall, I loved the nuance, enjoyed the information presented, and will be carrying some of the questions and ideas in the book forward. As someone who fit the tomboy mold even if I don’t think the term was ever used, I felt pretty validated at points too, which is always nice. :) Despite the bi and ace erasure, I still feel pretty comfortable saying “this is how you feminism” and want to rec this to everyone interested in gender and sexuality (and also parents).… (más)

Girls (and Boys) Just Want to Be Themselves

Here are some things people of any age can probably agree on: Figuring out who we were, how we fit in, as we grew up was hard. Now grown up it’s still hard figuring out where we fit in. Sure, some of us are among the fortunate who have a good and healthy concept of themselves, even when we were young. This, however, doesn’t describe most of the U.S. population, otherwise we would have a shortage of clinical psychologists. Well, maybe that’s a joke, but if Lisa Selin Davis has any message in her book Tomboy, it’s that, girl or boy, growing up is tough. And what’s makes it much more a bear are parents and society and their collective preconceptions and expectations of what gender means.

In Tomboy, Davis roams around quite a bit as she uses the idea of tomboys to illustrate how concepts of gender roles have changed over the past couple of centuries. She reminds us that there was a time when girls and boys, at least in dress, were treated much the same, with both wearing dresses and frills up to the time of puberty. Then typing and commercialization, especially in clothing and toys, became the thing as we entered and traveled through the 20th century, producing a rigidity that cast children into roles expected of them in adulthood. This doesn’t seem to have worked out well for girls or boys, slotting women into roles best suited to their perceived strength of compassion and men into their own stereotyped aggressiveness and control. Davis marshals quite a large group of psychologists, gender thinkers, and women reflecting on their upbringings to tell her story. What you have is an exploration of how gender has come to mean more than biological assignment and how busting out of defined roles may have benefited some.

Those picking up the book with the hope of reminiscing about their own tomboy childhoods will be disappointed, for this isn’t a nostalgic romp. Those looking for a better understanding of how allowing girls to express themselves will benefit in later life may also find the book less than they expected, as these examples are sparse. Okay for what it is, but it could have been better.… (más)

Girls (and Boys) Just Want to Be Themselves

Here are some things people of any age can probably agree on: Figuring out who we were, how we fit in, as we grew up was hard. Now grown up it’s still hard figuring out where we fit in. Sure, some of us are among the fortunate who have a good and healthy concept of themselves, even when we were young. This, however, doesn’t describe most of the U.S. population, otherwise we would have a shortage of clinical psychologists. Well, maybe that’s a joke, but if Lisa Selin Davis has any message in her book Tomboy, it’s that, girl or boy, growing up is tough. And what’s makes it much more a bear are parents and society and their collective preconceptions and expectations of what gender means.

In Tomboy, Davis roams around quite a bit as she uses the idea of tomboys to illustrate how concepts of gender roles have changed over the past couple of centuries. She reminds us that there was a time when girls and boys, at least in dress, were treated much the same, with both wearing dresses and frills up to the time of puberty. Then typing and commercialization, especially in clothing and toys, became the thing as we entered and traveled through the 20th century, producing a rigidity that cast children into roles expected of them in adulthood. This doesn’t seem to have worked out well for girls or boys, slotting women into roles best suited to their perceived strength of compassion and men into their own stereotyped aggressiveness and control. Davis marshals quite a large group of psychologists, gender thinkers, and women reflecting on their upbringings to tell her story. What you have is an exploration of how gender has come to mean more than biological assignment and how busting out of defined roles may have benefited some.

Those picking up the book with the hope of reminiscing about their own tomboy childhoods will be disappointed, for this isn’t a nostalgic romp. Those looking for a better understanding of how allowing girls to express themselves will benefit in later life may also find the book less than they expected, as these examples are sparse. Okay for what it is, but it could have been better.… (más)