Kristen Clark

This book is absolutely buck wild. So much of this is based in bad theology and even worse assumptions of human nature. Not to mention that a lot of the points they make about modesty and how to be modest go against the philosophy they promote in their day to day life. It's a fascinatingly bad book that you have to read to believe but you should NOT actually read it.

Fair warning: the rest of this book is going to be me analyzing everything wrong with this book. It's going to be long.

Additional note: I'm not actually doing this because I hate these authors or what they stand for, and I am definitely not doing it to feed into their persecution complex of "oh no, the world hates us, aren't we suffering for Christ!" that these people often labour under. I am a Christian, although that should really be beside the point. I'm doing this to try and show that this is not actually Christianity and it goes against many of the actual teachings of the Bible.

Chapter 1

The first assumption these authors make is that every fashion store shares the same idea of fashion. They do not. Perhaps this is because of the beige-and-white box they've backed themselves into where every profile is a clone of the next. Either way, Bethany and Kristen assert that every store exists to promote the idea that clothes should be as skimpy as possible.

Um...have you LOOKED at a clothing store in the mall recently? Big sweaters are all the rage right now, and hemlines on dresses have actually been getting longer in the last few years. Anyway.

There's also a whole paragraph on how "undergarments are optional" nowadays. All I'll say is that in order to know no one's wearing underwear, you have to be looking.

A weird detour is taken through a lot of unconnected Bible verses (including one from Song of Songs...the most sex-affirming book of the Bible, heyoh!) to reinforce the idea that modesty is important for women because they are valuable, precious, made by God (all true), and "[having] the body of a female". Modesty, to these authors, belongs entirely in the domain of the woman because they alone are responsible for keeping men from stumbling.

Never mind the fact that in the section of quotes from men in Chapter Four, every quote talks about how it's the man's responsibility to not sin. Never mind that Jesus himself says "if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out." That is, if you look at a woman in lust YOU are the problem. Somehow, these authors completely ignore this in order to reinforce the idea that if women dress while showing any shoulders, collarbone, or leg above the knees, it's causing every man in their life to stumble. Gross.

Anyway, moving on the Chapter 2. This section of the book is weird. In this section, major theological jumps are made to justify modesty through the Genesis account. Why? God only knows.

The train of logic here is that because Adam and Eve sinned, they created clothing. Now, because each of us is sinful in the eyes of God, we wear clothing. "When we
cover up our bodies, we are stating through our clothing that we are imperfect sinners in
need of a Savior." If you have zero idea what, exactly, that means, then join the freaking club. As someone who lives in Alberta where it's 30 degrees C in the summer and -30 in the winter, I wear clothing to regulate my body temperature. I do not think about sin and redemption every time I put on a freaking shirt.

Not to mention that, because Jesus' sacrifice negates the sacrificial system in Genesis, according to Hebrews, then this asserted purpose of clothing disappears. If, in the view of this book, we wear clothes to state we are sinners, then, after we are redeemed in the eyes of God, why are we still wearing clothes? This is just irresponsible theology.

Moving past THAT, Chapter 3 is basically just a recap of the past two chapters, with an added note about how modesty is really about your intentions and not your actual clothing. Obviously, neither Bethany nor Kristen believe this after building their lives around setting the bar ridiculously high for others and shaming them when they fall short.

Chapter 4 is the aforementioned men's perspective. It's all right - there are a couple good points - but it's kind of creepy. The worst part is when the authors tell their readers to get their outfits approved by their husbands or fathers before leaving the house. Just...no. I feel so disgusted by this. Fathers should not be concerned about whether they will be sexually attracted to their daughters, whatever clothes they are wearing. And there's no mistake about this being sexual in nature, because that's the entire reasoning behind this. This entire book is shaming women because men might feel sexually attracted to them. Under a thin veneer of badly applied and out-of-context Scripture, this is nothing more than an excuse to make women feel bad no matter what clothing they wear, and make them bear the burden of any sin committed by a man.

Anyway, after that the rest of the book is practically all "advice" on what to wear. Basically, nothing that shows you have a figure, let alone makes you feel good about it, and nothing that could possibly be construed as appealing in any way.

Two notes on this. One, if you wear too many layers of athletic clothing at the gym, you can overheat. Therefore, wear what you want and if you're concerned about men go to a women's only gym. Two, loose swimwear is also dangerous. There's a reason practically all swimsuits are made of the same material, and it isn't because the designers are sexually repressed and have to resort to living out their fantasies vicariously through every single swimmer.

Look, I wouldn't be making such a big deal of this if I thought it was coming from a place of concern or making women feel better about themselves. But, it's not. This book is a thinly-disguised way to make the authors impose their standard of "Christian modesty" on everyone else and then feel superior when they're the only ones who can measure up to their absurd standards.

The Bible has things to say about that. And they aren't pleasant.

"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." Matt. 6:1

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others." Matt. 6:6

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth ... But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven ... For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matt. 6: 19-21

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Matt. 6:24

"My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism." James 2:1

"Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." James 3:1

"Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. 2 Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3 Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4 Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5 You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.[a] 6 You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you." James 5: 1-6

And, finally, this little beauty from Amos 5:18-24

Woe to you who long
for the day of the Lord!
Why do you long for the day of the Lord?
That day will be darkness, not light.
19 It will be as though a man fled from a lion
only to meet a bear,
as though he entered his house
and rested his hand on the wall
only to have a snake bite him.
20 Will not the day of the Lord be darkness, not light—
pitch-dark, without a ray of brightness?

21 “I hate, I despise your religious festivals;
your assemblies are a stench to me.
22 Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,
I will have no regard for them.
23 Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
24 But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!… (más)

I signed up for a JustRead Blind Read and was sent Love Defined. It didn't take long for me to realize that this book is focused on single Christian women, and while I am a Christian woman I am not single, and have actually been happily married for almost seven years. Still, I did sign up for this tour, and was actually curious since I did not have a resource like this when I was single, and let me say it was such a blessing that I read it.

I had never heard of Girl Defined Ministries before, but after reading Love Defined I can see what a wonderful ministry this is, and wish it were around when I was in the dating scene.

Written by two sisters, one married and one single, Love Defined gives you the roadmap to dating and relationships from a Biblical standpoint. While I am not a single gal I still took quite a bit away from this study. There were good reminders on Biblical womanhood and marriage principles as well as information and advice that I am passing down to my two teenage sons, who will be starting to date very soon.

Proving that this resource goes beyond singles, I would highly recommend Love Defined to anyone. With its laid-back, down to earth writing, clean study layout, and applicable questions at the end of the chapter to take you deeper in the study, and make each chapter more personal, I can say this resource is a winner!… (más)

For the girls who have followed the biblical womanhood theme throughout their life, you might be thinking "Not ANOTHER book on this topic!" But yes, there is. However, this book is like a combination of all the books you've probably read. I like to compare it to Leslie Ludy's Set-Apart Femininity and Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin's So Much More. Here's why. Leslie Ludy is a married woman looking back on her single years. The Botkin sisters are both single looking forward to either more single years or to marriage if the Lord wills. Both perspectives are valid and important today, even though both those books were written 8-10 years ago. However, you have something a little different from Bethany and Kristen. One is single, the other married, and together they compare and combine their experiences, giving a complete picture of biblical womanhood for the immediate present. If you read books that are purely one perspective, you end up focusing on one or the other too much sometimes. But Girl Defined has an amazing balance.

Coming from a family of eight (five girls and three boys), these two Texan girls redefine the meaning of womanhood in light of Scripture. They wrote this book because they're passionate about the glory of God and because the Lord provided the opportunity for them to coauthor a book in order to share that glory with the rest of the world. They quote or use the stories from past and present "heroes" of the faith, such as Elisabeth Elliot, C.S. Lewis, Susan Hunt, Mary Kassian, Nancy (Demoss) Wolgemuth, Ian and Larissa Murphy, and Sheila Gregoire. They also use personal examples from their own lives and from the lives of their friends. They discuss the culture and "femininity gone wrong", as well as womanhood and godly living according to Scripture. Ending with a femininity worth fighting for, these girls leave the reader with biblical hope and encouragement. You're not supposed to read this book and then place it on a shelf. You're supposed to read it, pass it along, and then live out the bold, radical, anchored, vigilant, and empowered life as a fierce warrior of Christ.

In today's culture of gender and marriage confusion, Kristen and Bethany provide a refreshing reminder of what our lives must look like, whether married or single. Our identity is in Christ, and because of that, we need not fear what any one thinks of what we're doing or what we look like. We will appear different, but that's because we have the end of the story of the world written in our hearts and it compels us to find fulfillment and worth in something other than this world can offer.

Definitely a book to read and then buy for a friend. Each chapter also includes a study guide, which I, personally, did not use.… (más)