Tamar Chansky

I got into this book thinking it's a book on positive parenting, or on how to communicate well with your kids. It's neither. =P Instead it's about how to counsel your child when he/she tends to overreact (e.g. meltdown, think radical thoughts like "everyone hates me," or even become suicidal) to negative experiences. The first interesting thing I learned is that this tendency to think/react negatively is likely due to genetic markup. The second interesting I learned is, even though this tendency is inborn, you can develop habits in thinking to alter the neuron connections in your brain so that you gradually let the negative first reaction pass and see your second, more rational reading of the situation as the actual reality (and take actions to live out this reality). I personally am not entirely convinced that this is a useful tactic, though, because I tried it on myself when I had negative thoughts, and I keep questioning why I can be so sure that the second reality is more true than the first reality, when the facts/evidence can be interpreted both ways. So these habits are probably more useful in cases when the facts grossly contradict the first reality you perceive..... The author spent many, many pages detailing the scripts you can use to talk to the child, the games you can play, the family activities you can engage in....etc., to a degree that I find some chapters repetitive. But I guess another reader who really wants to implement something practical with a negative-thinking child would find the repetition helpful in solidifying the know-how.… (más)

Veel kinderen blazen mislukkingen op en leggen de oorzaak hiervoor bij zichzelf. Negatief denken is voor hen een gewoonte geworden. In dit boek laat de auteur zien hoe dergelijke negatieve gedachten bij kinderen precies ontstaan en hoe je er, als ouder, leerkracht of hulpverlener, samen mee aan de slag kunt. Met behulp van eenvoudige, doeltreffende strategieën leren kinderen hun emotionele veerkracht te vergroten. Door een positievere denkwijze kunnen zij zich beter wapenen tegen negatieve gedachten en effectiever omgaan met teleurstelling, mislukking en frustratie.… (más)