I deeply appreciate Elaine Aron's books. She "gets it" when it comes to understanding and explaining issues around emotional traumas and highly sensitive people in general. The people who don't like this book may not need it--not everyone will. But for those who do, this book gives insight into problematic areas, as well as specific ways to cope with them. ( )

I’m not a fan of self-help books, though I confess to owning one or two. Despite its shortcomings, I had vague memories of finding some personal value in her earlier work, The Highly Sensitive Person, and was hoping this book would continue to build upon her previously explored themes given the obvious links between hypersensitivity and low self-esteem. Instead, I found this book a prime example of all I dislike about self-help books in general: sweeping pseudo-scientific generalizations presuming to validate her theory; the renaming, as opposed to the reframing of familiar terms (power into “rank” and relationships into “links”); trite and/or gag-inducing terms (“inner child,” “inner critic” or “inner-anything else”); cheesy questionnaires and checklists worded so that most everyone will exhibit symptoms of what the book is marketed to cure; a tendency to universalize and generalize the problem; and the coddling and somewhat condescending tone of a professional victim, coupled with a blinkered ‘why seek out a professional when all you need is to read my book’ DIY ethos. This book falls short in both psychological insight and in its value as a self-help tool. Disappointing overall. ( )

This the second book I've read by this author. The first was "The Highly Sensitive Person" which described me and one of my children to a T. I found this one a bit rough going at first as I got used to her terminology, but after that I found it very interesting and helpful. I'm going to read it again for sure. ( )

This is not your typical self-help title as there is a lot of info presented along with relevant examples/exercises but one has to put in a lot of "serious" effort to get very little "personal development" out of it.

Those just curious about this new book and her 'psychology' may want to explore the audiobook instead of going through the 300 pages here.

Her previous book "The Highly Sensitive Person" was a bestseller in the late 90's and was quite decent and is worth perusing. ( )

The true test of a self-help book is whether or not it actually helps. In The Undervalued Self, Elaine N. Aron writes: “This book will be helpful if you simply read it through. But you will gain much more from it if you follow the suggestions in each chapter.” I found that within fifty pages this book began to help me. Procrastination can be a problem for me. As I read The Undervalued Self I began to deal better with my procrastination, both with necessary tasks and with things I want to do, but often put off. I have no doubt that if I return to really study the book it will help me more.

From the introduction: “...positive thinking and self-affirmations can make those with low self-esteem feel even worse about themselves.” I thought that was a pretty preposterous statement. Dr. Aron never explained explicitly why she thinks this is true, but by the end of the first chapter I understood and agreed with her.

Dr. Aron states that: “By the way, I, too, have an undervalued self. Indeed, it has been a hefty, pushy one and has caused me trouble most of my life.” Sharing this with her readers created a link, a trust with me.

A minor problem: The writing in this book should be pretty accessible to most people; there's a minimum of jargon. But there are some real clunkers. For example, the heading: THE GIANT TASK I UNDERTOOK BY CHANCE. That's about as awkward as it gets. Where was the editor on this one?

Another minor problem, for me anyway: “I have tried to be as scientific as possible about the innate factors that contribute to the undervalued self without wasting your time with undue explanations.” This is a promise that is kept, but as I'm a big fan of M. Scott Peck, M.D. (The Road Less Traveled, and numerous other books) I wanted those detailed explanations.

Before reading The Undervalued Self, I wondered how Dr. Aron would stack up against Dr. Peck, a man whom I consider to have been a genius, albeit a flawed human being as he stated many times in his books. It turned out I needn't have worried. The Undervalued Self is very much a practical, how-to book, while Dr. Peck's books are more scholarly studies of the human condition. (This is in no way meant to imply that Dr. Aron couldn't write a more scholarly book if that was her goal.) Her book is a step-by-step guide away from undervaluing oneself, leading to greater self-esteem. His books explain how human beings think and feel, and thus why they behave as they do. His books can be very helpful, but you have to dig deeply to get that help. So, to use a cliche, to compare their books would be like comparing apples to oranges.

No medicine cures everyone, even those who have the same illness, so this book probably will not help each person who turns to it, but it surely can help many people. For those who need more help than a book alone can give, she's provided Appendix I: How to Find a Good Therapist.

This is definitely a book worth trying.

Key “The Undervalued Self” into your search engine for the website for this book. ( )