A breezy, amiable memoir from actor Geena Davis. You get a real sense of her voice here, and—perhaps oddly in a celebrity memoir?—the most engaging part of the book is when she is writing about her parents. Her love for them, New Englander quirks and all, clearly shines through. However, this is neither a salacious example of the genre (the biggest dirt you get about Davis' career is that Bills Murray and Hurt were assholes on set; this is my shocked face) nor particularly raw or deep. This reads like the book-length version of the kind of interview an actor does in the run-up to the release of a movie: carefully calculated with PR approval to be just the right kind of vulnerable, just enough quirky, just enough girl-next-door. Having read Dying of Politeness, I feel like I like Davis but don't know her at all—which may be just how she likes it. ( )

From the time she was three years old, Geena Davis knew she wanted to be in movies. She was told that one step to reach that goal was to become a model. She did and was able to eventually reach her goal.
Her parents were very resourceful. They were very frugal, grew their own food, wasted nothing. She was trained to never show any needs. She should never ask for anything. If someone offered her a glassful of ice water, she should say, “No, thank you. I’m not thirsty.”
That became a major problem as she grew up. Some of the requests of her, especially in Los Angeles, put her into unsavory positions.
Being in movies helped her learn how to be more assertive and self-possessed. In DYING OF POLITENESS, she relates what she learned from each of the roles she played and the people who helped her along the way.
In addition to her career, she also discusses her marriages and, briefly, becoming a mother when she was in her middle forties.
The last part of the book is about her actions to get the movie and television industry to end gender stereotyping. Up to then, girls, if they were included at all, were treated as ornaments or helpers to the males who got all the action. The men running the industry didn’t even realize that was happening. She helped change that.
DYING OF POLITENESS is an overview of the experiences in Geena Davis’s life that helped her become the person she is. One of the main one is discovering her strengths. I would have liked more depth in some areas. ( )

Best for:
Those who enjoy a fairly light Hollywood memoir that primarily focuses on the industry while also providing some glimpses into one’s personal life.

In a nutshell:
Actor Geena Davis shares stories from her life.

Worth quoting:
“If a human can do it, I can do it.”

Why I chose it:
Looking for a fun listen while starting up running again.

What it left me feeling:
Impressed.

Review:
I didn’t know much about Davis’s life before reading this. I was familiar with her work in Beetlejuice and A League of Their Own, and Thelma and Louise. I also was vaguely aware of her work on gender representation in media. This book helped me feel like I know her a bit better now, though not a ton more, and she’s pretty upfront about that.

Davis has been acting since the 80s. She’s been in some very high profile films, and also had some fairly high-profile romances, including marriages to Jeff Goldblum and Renny Harlin. After finishing this book, I find her to be a bit intriguing. She’s honest throughout about her challenges with speaking up for herself and her need to be polite, but she also seems to have been blessed with a naivete that some could mistake for gumption. She would just do things that others would never dream of (such as pretending to be an animatronic mannequin, or sitting next to the director on set), but not because she wanted to be subversive - she just thought it would be interesting or cool or help her career.

One of the through lines of this book is her growth in her ability to speak up for herself, which culminates in her creating the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media. It started out as a way to look at gender representation in children’s media, but now looks at other historically underrepresented identities as well. She also talks about taking up archery and making it quite far in the sport, which I found fascinating.

I appreciate that Davis chose to draw a line around her children - she doesn’t talk about their conception or really much of anything having to do with them. I’d imagine that will disappoint some people, since she had her kids at 46 and 48 respectively. She does touch on the inappropriate questions she received from the media about that, but explains that its just none of our business. And I respect that. She is open about her childhood, and her relationship with her parents and her husbands, but she chooses to keep that private. Good for her - we’re not entitled to all that information.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Donate it ( )

I only read memoirs if they are narrated by the author and this one is perfect in that format. I loved learning more about Davis’ unique upbringing in the Cape Cod area, & her quirky personality, which shifted from extreme politeness to finally have any ability to stand up for herself later in her career. She’s been in so many classic movies & has done so much for gender representation in the industry. I still hate how Hollywood treats women. ( )

Delightful! Geena Davis is an old school movie star with so much more. She's a hard worker, quirky and loves her family. I really enjoyed this memoir. ( )